Always Read Warning Labels

Why do kids think it's ok to put anything they find in their mouths? I guess tasting something is one of the quickest ways of finding out if you're going to put it in the good or bad category. It's still pretty gross and so very annoying. Especially when you show poor judgement.

For instance, if you let your little girl hold onto the sunscreen spray canister. In my defense it was switched to the locked setting, which is not as secure as the name would indicate. One little twist and she was more than happy to spray some in her mouth. I imagine a sunburn to the tongue would really sting but I still think she was being a little to cautious. My wife witnessed this improper application of UV protection and immediately starts to dial poison control.

"Don't you think that's a bit hasty?"

"It says right here on the bottle to call a medical professional or poison control if ingested."

"Oh, fair enough."

"Why did you let her have it anyway?"

"It's sunscreen for kids, why wouldn't it be safe for them to handle?"

"It says right here above the poison control advise to keep out of reach of children."

"I hate you, you sunscreen container. You're just a fountain of information after the fact you smug little bastard. Where were you five minutes ago?"

Our little one didn't even cry or gag from the sunscreen so we weren't too concerned. Everything seemed to be fine which is good since my wife seemed to be on hold with poison control. Personally. with a name like poison control I'd expect them to have operators standing by. If the folks at Time/Life books can do it then why can't they? Anyways like I was saying, all seemed fine while my wife was on the phone with poison control (that really sounds bad when you say it out loud) until the little one started screaming and crying. I picked her up and was surprised to find some weird blue thing hanging from her lip. It turned out to be one of those little chip clip things which only surprised me more because I didn't even know we had any of them. I quickly got it off of her leaving her with a little cut on her lip where it had been pinched.

"Holy crap, I'm like the Inspector Clouseau of parenting right now."

While I wondered if those clip things have a warning on them, someone answered at poison control. They let us know that there wouldn't have been enough in a little spray to be harmful to her.

"You stupid canister. Why'd you get us all worked up like that if your sunscreen isn't even strong enough to harm a child? You're on thin ice so I'd watch my back if I was you."

It was all a good learning experience though. Sunscreen for children doesn't necessarily mean what you think it might. Poison control is not as urgent a place as you might imagine. And if you need someone to look after your kids, I might not be your first choice.