Wednesday, July 23, 2008

The Waiting Game

So we had our first ultrasound today. The first for this pregnancy that is. We had tons with the first two. Part of it is because of how sick my wife gets when she's pregnant and part of it is just because they have the fancy machine to start with. Lord knows if I had something like that I'd be using it all the friggin' time. I'd use it on everything in my house. After I was done with every last body part I could comfortably reach on myself I'd move on to food, furniture, the cupboards, it wouldn't matter. "Are we out of soup? I don't know. Just let me get the lubricating gel and I'll check."

Anyways, like I was saying, it's not the first ultrasound we've been through. The first few we were captivated. Just staring at the screen as we got our first glimpses at our little zygotes, or embryos, or whatever the right term is (I'm too lazy to look it up). By this point we only had one real question, "there's only one in there, right?" From what we're told it is just one (thank goodness). The problem is that we've had so many my wife knows how to read the screen. Even worse, she's aware of what the heart rates of our first two kids was and what's generally in the normal range. All this conspired against us when she noticed the heart rate this time was a bit below those numbers. The ultrasound lady asking if we'd ever had a miscarriage didn't help matters. In my head the answer was "WTF are you thinking?"

So of course the wait between that and when we got to see the doctor was an absolute joy. The kids running around like waiting room fighting over toys really brought a sense of calm over everyone. When the kids are really in a mood I like to take them to the waiting room at the ultrasound place and doctor's office just to freak out the expectant parents. First timers are so funny. I tried to ease my wife's concerns but I don't think she bought it. "I'm sure the kid's heart rate was like that because he's just really laid back." That got an "F you" look.

After what seemed like quite a while we finally got to see the doctor. For the record, I think our doctor is a great doctor and a really nice guy as well. We're lucky to have him. That being said, I kind of wish he'd just lied to us today. When the subject of the heart rate came up he told us that there is some evidence that links low heart rates early on with an increased risk of miscarriage. In my head, "Have you met my wife? WTF are you thinking?" Why'd we have to get the guy who knows what he's doing and answers all our questions? On the other hand, I wouldn't want to have the guy who looks at the chart and goes "Well I'm stumped. I don't know what the hell any of this means." I guess we can't have our cake and eat it too.

So we're left with three weeks until the next ultrasound and doctor visit. Hopefully the news will be better for that one. In the mean time all we can do is wait. The only advice anyone has is not to worry about it which is all you can tell someone I guess but that's easier said than done. To me that seems like telling someone who's deathly afraid of snakes that you put a giant python in a box over in the corner of the room. "I'm pretty sure I locked the box but I'm not certain. Either way, just try not to worry about it. See you in three weeks." I'm sure everything will work out but until then, waiting sucks.


Erin said...

I love you.

FellowHGer said...

Sending sticky vibes and prayers