Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Hope Everyone Had A Happy Canada Day

I don't like crowds or carnivals and I don't really get the appeal of fireworks. So obviously Canada Day is right up my alley. Despite being a bit of a festivity scrooge I have to say I was pretty happy with the way yesterday went.

We decided to go to the aviation museum to see the Skyhawks put on a parachuting show at noon. On the way we noticed a lady dressed a little skimpy and my wife commented to her brother on the phone that she just saw a midday hooker. It's a good thing the car was stopped or I would have crashed it when a little voice from the backseat asked "what's a hooker?" Great question because I wasn't the one who said something they shouldn't have heard, for once. Apparently, it was the completion of a karmic circle too since my wife asked a similar question of her mom when she was a kid. They were in Philadelphia with some friends and happened to drive past some streetwalkers. She asked her mom who those ladies were and was told they were musicians. I wish the story went on to include follow up questions about what sort of instruments they played but sadly no. Having learned from that we told our little one that a hooker is someone who uses hooks to make rugs. Kindergarten could be interesting considering all the new words she learns from us. "Miss, did you get that rug from a hooker?"

Once I stopped laughing enough that I could drive we headed over to the aviation museum. There were lots of people there but there was also loads of space so it was great. The Skyhawks put on a great show, definitely check it out if you get the chance, and there was lots to see and do there. The kids got to sit in a glider, paint a plexiglass wall, make some crafts, and see the displays in the museum. Fun for the whole family and all for the affordable cost of absolutely nothing. That's a Canada Day celebration I can get on board with. The festival in the park we went to after wasn't.

We drove back across town and found every parking lot at the park to be full. Four different parking lots and not a space to be found. That does bring me to a helpful money saving tip. If you don't want to pay five dollars for parking then just park at the movie theatre half a mile away and walk. Also, if you stop at a gas station on the walk to pick up cold water and snacks you don't have to pay carnival prices. All these savings did wonders to counterbalance my usual humbuggery (that sounds wrong but I'm too lazy to look for an actual word). I may be a party pooper but more than that, I'm cheap. So after a nice little walk, first Canada Day I can remember without any rain, we got to the fair. I believe they officially called it a festival but I prefer to think of it as "let's stand in line for 15 minutes for our turn to do something that's not fun". I can see where their terminology would fit better on a sign. So after finally getting their faces painted, my kids are mental for face painting for some reason, we went on the merry-go-round. The older one wasn't impressed as evidenced by her tears. Her sister however had to be pried off the horse when the ride was over. I mean I literally had to pry her fingers off the bar one by one. Then it was on to the games. That went well since they left with a couple stuffed animals each and a ball. Their mom isn't beg into sports but she's like the Tiger Woods of carnival games.

So the crowds and carnivals went well, on to the fireworks. The kids aren't big fans of loud noises so we decided to park far away enough that we could see them but not hear the noise. As I was told when we got home "I don't like the big bang booms." We heard the parking lot at the hockey stadium was a good spot so that's where we went. There was about a dozen other families too. Everything was going well until some twit decided it would be a good idea to set off his fireworks in the parking lot. A few loud bangs later and I had a crying child thrust into my arms as my wife went over to express her disapproval of his actions. From what I could see it was going ok and then as she walked back to our car he set off another loud one. Oh crap. I handed off my crying youngster to her grandmother and headed over. Partly to help my wife and partly to ensure she didn't end up charged with assault. Luckily a couple folks who were closer got there first and expressed their views that he was showing questionable judgement. All was well and we went back to trying to calm down the kids. We got them calmed down to the point where they didn't want to leave and then some other jackass start shooting his store bought pyrotechnics. Motherfu..... I marched over and chatted with them. Nice fellas, just a little on the dim side. They eventually saw my side and the explosions stopped. As I walked back it dawned on me. I'm now THAT parent. The one pointing out others poor decision making ability and its effect on my kids. The one those guys are referring to in their blogs (read telling their drunk idiot friends about) as an A-Hole. To be honest, I'm fine with it too.

So all in all I'd say it was a good Canada Day. Last year I went on a kiddie train ride with my oldest and she got so upset that she peed on me. Always the sign of a good festival when you leave smelling like urine. Like they say though, it's better to be pissed off than pissed on so I guess this year was a step in the right direction.

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