Thursday, August 28, 2008

So I Married A Cyborg

Ok, that title was a cheap shot but I couldn't resist. You see, yesterday my wife got her PICC line. For anyone who isn't aware, it's a catheter that's inserted into her upper arm. Then they slide it into a vein until the tip is sitting in a large vein just above the heart. Add a pump and some IV bags with saline and meds and you're good to go. Yeah, the idea of it creeps me out at first too. Personally, if a doctor told me that's what they were going to do my first reaction would be "You're going to put what where?" Of course, if my wife was the sort of person who asked that question more often, we wouldn't be in this situation in the first place.

So now her constant nausea and fatigue will be accompanied by the whirring of the pump she has attached to her all the time. Ideally, it'll lessen her nausea and keep her hydrated but we'll see. It worked pretty well on the last pregnancy but with each youngster running around the degree of difficulty seems to increase exponentially. It would be nice if it makes her into some sort of Robocop like super mom who can chase down the kids with ease. Realistically, I think she'll be more like Arnold at the end of the first Terminator. She keeps on going because her mission is the core of her being. She's been programmed to look after these kids and nothing will stop her from succeeding but as she drags what's left of herself across the factory floor we can see that she just doesn't have it in her anymore. The only question is will the kids take pity on her or push that button and crush her with that big old machine until the red light in her eye fades out?

Ok, so maybe I watch too many movies. The point is the PICC line is not a miracle cure. I like to think so because of how well she did on the last pregnancy with it as to opposed on the first one when she didn't have it. That's just wishful thinking though. It should hopefully help her get to a level where she can function but that's about it. Not to downplay that though. Her being able to participate in regular activities with me and the kids and not be totally wiped out afterwards would be extraordinary. Not sure how realistic that is since school starts up again next week and she'll be going back to work. As long as she's getting her fluids and not puking an insane number of times a day I'd call it a win though.

Honestly, I think it's awfully impressive what she puts herself through in order to have kids. No, I'm not talking about sleeping with me you jackass. Friggin' smartasses. It's impressive that she goes through being so sick for so long just to being a child into the world. I'm not sure I'd be able to do it. I know I wouldn't go through it three times. But she's done it knowing the sort of sickness she'd be dealing with. At least with the second two. The first time was just a fun surprise. So I'd say she is more ultra badass humanity saving cyborg than beaten down robot killing machine. Now if I can just find the right mother's day card to express that sentiment.


Erin said...

I would so love to see that card!

Anonymous said...

You rock Dave!

Harry said...

I feel your pain. The problem with these people sporting PICC lines and IV's lose sight of just how difficult life can be when you have a really bad hangnail or a blister on your little toe that rubs on your Birkenstocks. It's all about them. Rage on my friend, rage on. I'm behind you.......way back there.