Thursday, February 19, 2009

Barack Obama: Beacon Of Hope Or Creation Of Hype

It was kind of an exciting day around town as Barack Obama made a visit to Canada's capital. It was a highly anticipated visit since the last guy didn't realize Canada was a foreign country and the guy before that was always more into visiting places where the ladies weren't wearing parkas. Yeah, they had some issues.

Anyways, as we all know, everywhere Obama goes, hope is sure to follow. Yesterday, we got some snow. Not as much as had been forecast but a bit nonetheless. Air Force One lands and there's no more snow. A handful of flake may have had the audacity to fall during the day but I believe the secret service quickly dealt with them. Around 6 this evening, shortly after President Obama has left our air space, the snow kicked back up for 15 minutes or so. Now I'd heard all the hoopla about how he pisses sunshine and poops rainbows but I'd always been skeptical. After today I think there may be some truth to it.

The other big thing that happened today hit a little bit closer to home for us. The doctor's office called to let us know our c-section date had been moved up. With the HG and the PICC line, the plan was to book the section for the earliest possible date which was March 5. There were no openings on that day so we were booked for the 9th and put at the top of the waiting list in case someone delivered early. Sure enough someone did and a spot opened up for us. That takes the countdown from 18 days to exactly 2 weeks. The baby getting paroled early like that really put us all in an upbeat frame of mind. There's just something about getting inside that 2 week mark. Whoever the lady was that delivered early though does solidify a theory of mine though.

Barack Obama can induce labour. You honestly think it's a coincidence that he shows up in town and this woman gives birth? Not a chance. If you want further supporting evidence then just look at the pattern of births in the US over the past year. There are significant spikes the week following each of Obama's most public addresses. (Ok, I made those statistics up but you didn't actually expect me to do research did you?) Here's how it works. His words and mere presence radiates so much hope that the unborn child is drawn to it like a moth to a flame. They emerge into the world in search of the source of that overpowering aura of hopeitude (every new word has to start somewhere). That's why I think TV stations should have a warning appear on screen before the State of the Union and any other big speeches. "The following is not recommended for women who may be pregnant. If you must watch please do not stare directly at the President or listen to more than 2 consecutive minutes of his speech at any given time. If you experience contractions either proceed quickly to the nearest hospital to give birth or immediately change the channel to footage of Dick Cheney to stop the labour." I'll have to remember to send the major networks an email tomorrow. I only hope they listen.

1 comment:

Dragon Petals said...

Yay, so glad to hear of the early parole. :)