Monday, March 9, 2009

And Then There Were Three

So our newest little girl entered the world last Thursday. Everything went pretty well. We had to wait around a few hours. Not sure why you have to get there so early, it's not like we're taking an international flight and have to go through security or something. On the other hand, we can bring as many pairs of scissors or bottles of lotion with us as we want so it's pretty much a wash.

Anyways, having that time to wait was actually a nice little break. No one asking me to fill their sippy cup or jumping on my back when I'm not looking. Apparently, our middle child has recently made the decision that the only viable form of transportation when it comes to stairs is riding on my back. I'm like Luke Skywalker in Empire Strikes Back with my own little Yoda on my back as I traverse a swampy obstacle course. Ok, the house is actually pretty clean at the moment but you get the picture. The main differences being I don't have the power of the force and the only pearls of wisdom coming from my "Yoda" is "where my bottle be?"

Got a little distracted there. Like I was saying, we got to just relax and watch a movie while. Pineapple Express is pretty funny but if you ask my wife she'll probably say the uneasiness brought on by impending major abdominal surgery took away from the humour. I didn't get that but we don't always agree on movies. Not that we had much time to discuss it because she was taken to the O.R. soon after. The surgery went well. The doctor seemed to put a whole lot of muscle into it when needed (my wife figures he was taking out his frustrations on her) which got the job done. Before I knew it I was holding our little girl while all the king's men went about putting my wife back together again. (Debated about using the actual nursery rhyme quote there but saying Humpty Dumpty would have caused me more trouble than it was worth.) That was followed by a four hour wait in recovery caused by a combination of a body temperature issue, a shift change, and the fact that apparently only one dude in the entire place has a license to push a bed. Seriously, it was easier to find four nurses, three doctors, and an anaesthetist than it was to find someone with the rarified skill set necessary to push a bed that's on wheels. The kids are ticking away like time bombs in the waiting room anxious to meet their new sister but let's play Where's Waldo with the gurney guy.

Eventually, a couple of the nurses moved us over to a ward room where mom and baby spent a couple days. The girls got to see the baby which thrilled them to no end before they went home to crash and I got to stay over at the hospital and got the best sleep I've had in months. After a couple days both mother and child came home which is pretty badassed in my opinion. If someone cut open my stomach and took out something that weighed 7 and a half pounds, I'd be in bed for quite some time. Just point me at the tv and don't count on me for anything. Guess it's a good thing it wasn't me then.


Tripacerchick said...


I love reading your blog, BTW... It always makes me laugh :)

Heather said...

Congratulations. Welcome to the world sweetheart. You've got quite a teenage life of eye rolls ahead of you with your Daddy's sense of humor.

levengoodvet678 said...


Your blog is hilarious. I have 3 boys at home and 1 on the way - so I get all the humor and truth in everything you say.