Any discussion about the greatest movies of all time has to include The Godfather. I'd probably put it on the top of my list. That's something my sisters and I agree on. On top of that, it teaches lots of useful lessons for parents. A man who doesn't spend time with his family can never truly be a man. Never take sides against the family. The importance of family is paramount in the entire movie. That aspect makes me enjoy the movie even more now that I have my own family. That is until I had my own Godfather moment recently.
It was a nice peaceful morning as I slowly woke up. A few hazy moments as I brushed off the sleep. Before long I realised my hand was wet, wet and warm. I looked at my hand to try and figure out what was on it and that's when I rolled over. Right there, staring me in the face, was the naked butt of my little one and a half year old girl. My panicked screams caused birds in nearby trees to take flight as my little nude youngster sat up and smiled at me. Apparently, at some point in the five hours between when I went to bed and was jolted awake she took her diaper off and peed all over my side of the bed. I know she didn't do it on purpose but deep down I imagine her standing there pissing away as she smiles like a kid on a trucker's mudflaps. You may wonder why she was in our bed to start with. Well, when it's two in the morning and she's freaking out, I'll pretty much let her sleep anywhere she wants if it means I get to sleep too. Anyways, to say it was a pissy way to start the day would be pretty accurate. I just wish I could say it's the only time something like that has happened to me.
I knew going in to having kids that I'd be dealing with some gross stuff. I think I underestimated it though. I didn't realise I was going to get covered in so many different disgusting fluids, and some solids. I don't even keep track of the number of times they pee, poop, or throw up on me anymore. It's actually at the point now that if they're about to throw up I'll jump in front of it like some sort of weird secret service agent because it's easier to clean my clothes and wash it off me than it is to get it our of the carpet or bedspread. Before kids, having someone pee on me would probably ruin my whole day. Now if that's the worst that happens I'm actually pretty happy. I guess fatherhood has totally shifted my idea of what constitutes a good day. Somehow, a couple cute little kids just make it better.
I feel I should let you know one important thing. If you email a shampoo company to ask them how well their product is at getting urine out of your hair, you will end up on some really screwed up mailing lists. Seriously, I long for the days my inbox was just littered with emails about the latest developments in "male enhancement". Now that I think about it though, I wonder how I got on that mailing list too. I guess I should proofread my emails more, especially ones with the subject line of the pen is mightier than the sword. Forget to push the space bar once and people start assuming things.
9 years ago