Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Injustice Anywhere Is A Threat To Justice Everywhere

Since Halloween I've been eating more candy than I really should. Probably more than anyone should. It does lead me to two observations though. First, we need to do a better job next year of counting the number of kids in the neighbourhood. Hopefully, a more accurate headcount will curb our candy purchasing and leave us with little to none left over. Second, and most important, why don't the mint chocolate people take part in Halloween?

I've been enjoying Halloween candy for more than a couple decades and I don't once recall eating anything minty. Pep, andes, junior mints and the rest all abstain from Halloween. Even the mint aero bars are part of this boycott. You can't knock on three doors without getting a "fun sized" aero bar so would it kill them to shrink down a couple of mint ones? Would the technology involved completely throw off their profit margin? Of course not. All signs point to a conspiracy in the candy industry. Somehow mint candies have been blocked out of participating in one of the major candy holidays, either by choice or intimidation. My investigating, by which I mean, crazy unconfirmed theory, leads me to believe the major confectionery companies have joined forces to systematically exclude mint from the cavalcade of candies handed out every October 31. In exchange, mint gets to take centre stage at Christmas. Personally, I think that's crap.

There's no reason why chocolate mints can't be enjoyed all year long. (Don't even get me started on the Cadbury creme eggs) I say enough with holiday specific candy discrimination. Let us as the consumer decide what is and is not appropriate for the time of year. Isn't choice one of the cornerstones of a truly free and democratic society?

Don't get me wrong, I'm a firm supporter of all the chocolate combos. I'm a big fan of the marriage between chocolate and peanut butter. I fully support the gay marriage between chocolate and coconut. I don't even have a problem with the freaky threeway between chocolate, peanuts, and nougat. Heck, throw some caramel and cookie into that big orgy and I wouldn't even bat an eye. I just believe that combining chocolate and mint, specifically in junior mint form, is the pinnacle of what's possible when it comes to candy. To exclude them from Halloween, or any holiday, is an injustice I can no longer ignore.

Basically, I've had my fill of peanut butter cups and would love a junior mint right about now.

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